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Dealing With Gender Disappointment

When a woman is pregnant, speculations start whether it will be a baby girl or a boy, so much so the symptoms (like morning sickness, eating habits, etc) all seem to favour that particular gender; and you start picking out stuff in blue or pink. However, no can predict the sex of the unborn baby (except the doctor, but the PNDT act does not allow him to do so.) So after delivery there is 50:50 chance that the sex of your baby is not what you expected.

Yes, you might feel a little disappointed. Here is how you can deal with it.

Dealing-With-Gender-DisappointmentAdmit it to someone: Gender disappointment can at times make you stressed and depressed because you feel cheated. Talking to someone (your partner or your mother) will make you accept the situation. You may have dreamt about a perfect li’l angel but your baby is not at fault.

Spend time with your baby: Forge a bond with your little one by spending time with him/her. You might be disappointed with the gender but be happy that you have delivered a perfectly healthy and cute baby.

Stand up to society pressures: Girl or boy – babies are always precious. But in India the lust for a male child has often taken wrong turns with female foeticide or killing of baby girls. Stand up against negative comments about your baby and understand you cannot decide the gender.

Have some fun: Often in our country mothers are advised not to step out with their babies in the first 40 days of life. While you are holed up in the comfort of your home, might as well have some fun and dress up your baby in the way you always dreamt. This is the perfect time to cross-dress your little one but make sure not to make it public.

Seek professional help: If you still can’t cope with the gender disappointment it is best to seek medical help as such disappointment can often lead to acute depression.

Often the lust for a male child is the number one reason for this disappointment. Many mums face pressure that a baby boy is needed to carry the family name forward. In India, the gender ratio is skewed and female foeticide is commonplace. A boy might be good but a girl is always better. Remember the saying, ‘A son is a son till he gets a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life!


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